Run by two very pious sisters of the Order of the Gay High Holy Church, a bi girl and a gay guy, Sisters Eva Distraction and Serena Man Der Woodsen. We believe in shoes, rainbow flags, and scaring the living shit out of our conservative relatives.
Come one, come all to the GHHC, where all are welcome!

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Patron Saint of Fierceness: Beyonce Us fledgling social deviants found solace in the songs of one Miss Beyonce Knowles. Crazy in Love, Dangerously in Love, Love on Top, and a whole lotta love from this Diva. She has been influencing our musical choices and drag routines for well over ten years now, and she just keeps on getting better and better. We can’t wait to see what kind of hot fierceness that little Miss Blue Ivy Carter is gonna crank out one day. If her and Willow Smith formed a band….oh god, we’re having a fierceness flash…be right back. Sorry, we had to go and dance to the Mamma Mia! Soundtrack to calm down. Who run the world? Girls. Well, and the Gay High Holy Church, but no one has to know about our contributions to Sarah Palin’s PAC.
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Pope Oprah, or Poprah. Pope Oprah Winfrey the First is the leader of the Gay High Holy Church. Our spiritual leader, our adviser, our talisman against everything wrong. She has led us without fail for years, in the manner of what to wear, who to vote for, what to eat, and what movies to see. You Go Girl!
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Patron Saint of Stomach Ailments: Newt Gingrich Because he makes us sick to our stomachs. Seriously, when we need to throw up (which is pretty frequently, because our habits are a French size 2, which means we have to stay skinny), we just go on his campaign website and take a look at his platform. And voila!
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Patron Saint of Classiness: Meryl Streep Meryl Fuckin’ Streep. How do we begin to describe her? Classy, elegant, refined. She is everything we want to be when we grow up. Her versatility is unmatched. She is our Patronus. She is our surrogate movie grandmother. We pray to her daily. In the realm of the Gay High Holy Church, she is second only to Oprah. She embraces any role she plays with the vigor and gusto that a closeted homosexual embraces playing straight. But unlike those performances, a Meryl Streep performance is for all time, and not just when the wife is looking. 
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Patron Saint of Archers: Katniss Everdeen We here at the GHHC were fans of the Hunger Games waaaaaaaaaaaay before all you sorry people were and would just like to say that we’re sick of everyone getting obsessed with it. We were obsessed with it way before it was even published, and we’re truly sorry that we are better human beings than you for that fact.  That being said, Katniss is one kickass woman. She hunts, she shoots, and she can wear a dress like a couture model. And she don’t need no man to do nothin’ for her because damnit, she’ll do it herself! So we salute you, St. Katniss, as the patron saint of Archers.  THAT IS MAHOGANY!
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Patron Saint of Archaeologists: Joan Rivers Much like the King Tut tomb, the Rosetta Stone or Sutton Hoo, Joan Rivers is a veritable treasure trove of preserve artifacts. Any archaeologist worth his salt would give their left arm to take a crack at this monument. In fact, if you look closely, I think you can see Indiana Jones carting out the Ark of the Covenant out of one of her nostrils, chased by Nazis. 
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Patron Saint of Fetus’s Rights: Rick Santorum We here at the GHHC were first introduced to this illustrious and pious man when Dan Savage so ungraciously coined the word for an unholy mixture of liquids that happens after two men do the worst thing in the world together. And then after they get done shopping for crocs, they have nasty, dirty man on man flesh-slapping sex.  But he is now known as the caring man who loves unborn children so much that he is willing to sacrifice the lives of the people that carry them. Much like Malcolm X, he uses any means necessary to make sure these children are carried to term. Byproduct of rape? Too young? Can’t afford a kid? Too bad, says Santorum, and rightly so! God forbid he ever have to shove another human being out of HIS body… Wonder if he’d still care about his own child once it had escaped his uterus any more than he does about the children whose welfare he wants to cut.
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Patron Saint of Animals: Sarah Palin No one has done more for animal welfare than Ms. Palin. We at the Gay High Holy Church doff our tiaras (not like a papal tiara, think more toddlers and tiaras) at Ms. Palin for being so sympathetic to animals. She cares for them so much that in order to save them from a world where they have to put up with Going Rogue, Sarah Palin’s Alaska, and Bristol P., she selflessly goes up in a helicopter and shoots them herself. 
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Patron Saint of Anesthesiologists: Heidi Klum Heidi Klum is like the Forever 21 of the high fashion world. She looks like a model, she acts like a model, and for some unknown reason people think she’s a model, but she’s not. Her career, much like the stitching in a Forever 21 cocktail frock after one too many parties, is unraveling. She’s so boring she puts us to sleep. In fact, when we get surgery, we request re-runs of early Project Runway episodes. “You are out” puts us under faster than novocaine. 
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Patron Saint of Advertising: Joan Holloway Fun Fact: The founding members of the Gay High Holy Church met in a freshman Language class where Mad Men was discussed. Much like Saul on the road to Damascus, seeing Ms. Holloway’s full figure and smirk removed the scales from our eyes and we became true believers. Well, kind of, because while we may want to undress Christina Hendricks, only one of us would then want to re-dress her in fabulous gowns.  So here’s to you, St. Joan Holloway of Sterling Cooper, and your ad for being a strong, sexy female.  (and you can insert your vitriol about how that statement may be misogynist __________ here.)
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Patron Saint of Actors: Bette Davis Poor Eve. (We know that she wasn’t Eve, but damnit, give us our classic hollywood reference!) She might not have won the award in All About Eve, but if anyone can put up with Joan Crawford for long enough to film a movie, she’s okay in our book. 
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Patron Saint of Beekeepers: Lindsay Lohan. Because she’s always buzzed. 
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Patron Saint of Babies: Demi Moore Ms. Moore has done more for babies than perhaps anyone but Angelina Jolie. She even cares for them so much she married one. Suck on that, Madonna.